It's Friday, so let's join Annie (at A Stitch in Time) along with the wonderful ladies at Friday Smiles.
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,'" and he left. The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple were still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven? After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven." "Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. "OH, COME ON!," St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"
Two guys are walking through a game park and they come across a lion that has not eaten for days. The lion starts chasing the two men. They run as fast as they can and one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, "Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord." He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion. As he comes closer to the lion, he hears it saying a prayer: "Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive."
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that," the man replies, wiping his tears, "This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep and I go in late to my office. My outraged boss fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, and when I get out, I remember I left my wallet. The cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave my home, come to this bar, and just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy
gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. The man
eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop
approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my shift is
almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll
let you go." The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife
ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that
officer trying to give her back!"
A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke, but he was alright because it was a soft drink.
Now let's head over to Annie's because she knows how to put a smile on everyone's faces. And whatever you do, please don't forget to start your weekend off right with a few Friday Smiles of your own. And remember, if you would like to play along, Annie would love to have you join us.
23 thoughtful remarks:
A stunning post, most gorgeous card and loads of gorgeousness. xx
Those birds are especially beautiful. Have a great day, I'm pcked and ready, off soon. Hugs, Valerie
Ohhh, Photoshop, I miss that. Now I use PhotoStudio, bleh, but for free.
That pond is cute. As are the birds.
No Carousel this year. So... nice to see yours! And an edible garden??? YUM. A stone Piz... awwww... getting hungry here! Not rich, though...
Oh-oh. Thank you, my battery said it´s nearly empty - and loading now. I nearly forgot, I hate when this happens!
IDK, LOL!
Yes, lawyer... Lions are clever, huh.
Oh. (Poison).
Hmmm. Today I really maybe could join at Annie´s...?
What amazing birds. I'm glad you managed to reveal them to us. I read your funnies out to my hubby and we both enjoyed a good chuckle today.
Hugs,
Annie x
Hi Elizabeth. Just back from walking the dogs in the snow! Don't worry, the stuff in the pond is not scum it's something called duck weed and it's sign of a healthy pond and helps to protect the water from too much sunlight which would create green algae which is not so nice as it blocks up the filters. The birds are beautiful and bet the Japanese garden is gorgeous, would love to see it. Loving the funnies too. Have a happy weekend. Hugs, Angela xXx
Oh Elizabeth! I would love this place - is the sort of place you can stay all day (Food and WCs?) Your first funny made me laugh most! That's me!!! Hugs, Chrisx
These birds are amazing! Sun and shadow make photography harder, but we can see them. Truly awesome.
The botanic garden is amazing and the birds are beautiful. The Carousel area will be quite something when it's finished. Thanks for the smiles today. Take care and stay safe.
What a lovely botanic garden-I loved it and those birds are wonderful!
Happy Friday hugs
What a beautiful place! and I love the sculptures. They add so much to public spaces :)
Those birds have such beautiful lines. I love them.
I love the pond too, green algae and all. Ponds are so restful.
The gardens look really interesting. I have enjoyed travelling around them with you.
The funnies made me smile too, so thank you for taking time to print all those out. Kate x
The bird sculptures are beautiful. Japanese gardens are always beautiful, but those things being added to the Carousel project are very expensive...
I had a good laugh at the funnies Elizabeth, well done,loved the first one the most.
cranbeeereez...N we waz gonna purchaze de catfish shallowz.....oh well !!!
thanx for sharin today Elizabeth; nice to look at this botanical
where as I'm looking at ....well....winter !!!
and not just because it's "cat themed" but cracked up at the LION pun :) ☺☺☺♥♥♥ AMEN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beautiful green views.
Have a nice weekend.
Such beautiful birds in those photos! Did you find out what kind they were? Thanks for the Friday smiles. I chuckled out loud at a few of them.
Hi again Elizabeth. Been busy and only just saw your question. I believe I am set up for the crop tomorrow but have all fingers crossed as I've never used it before. Hope to see you tomorrow, hugs Angela xXX
It's nice to see green here. We still have green, but this is the healthy, "still lookin' good" kind -- not the drab green/brown with bare branches we're seeing here!
What a beautiful garden! The pond and the bird statues are really lovely.
And I really love that carousel project. Can't wait to see it all finished.
Your funnies had me in stitches. I'm not calling out to hubby so I can read them out to him.
Have a lovely weekend,
Hugs,
Lisca
I especially enjoyed visiting these gardens since snow is on the way. (8-12 inches they say by tomorrow morning-eeks!) Oh I would like it to be a nice early autumn day so I could walk through some gardens. Or work in them. Those crane sculptures are gorgeous. Have a wonderful weekend. Hugs-Erika
Beautiful place. I love those bird statues. And I enjoyed your funnies.
Such a beautiful place to visit and wow, those bird sculptures are amazing - love them 😁. Thanks for sharing and I hope you had a wonderful week! Hugs, Jo x
I love botanical gardens. These pics are beautiful.
Those jokes were a hoot.
I am playing catch up with comments. This is a beautiful place. I so enjoyed see the statues of the birds.
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