Friday Smiles 265: More Kansas Oil Museum

This is the final Friday Smiles through the end of April.  However, I will be back April 27 with more of this museum.

I'll begin with a few jokes.  I'm sure you are aware I'm here for Annie's Friday Smiles.

A redhead, brunette and blond were on their way to Heaven.

God told them the stairway to Heaven was 1000 steps, and on every 5th step He’d tell them a joke. But, they must not laugh or else they couldn’t enter heaven.

The brunette went first and started laughing on the 65th step, so she could not enter Heaven.

The redhead went next and started laughing on the 320th step, so she could not enter Heaven either.

Then, it was the blond’s turn. When she got to the 999th step, she started laughing.

“Why are you laughing?” God asked. “I didn’t tell a joke.”

“I know,” the blond replied. “I just got the first one.”

A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service.

After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn’t think of the names of those who were to be married. “Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?” he requested.

Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.

A blond woman named Barbara found herself in dire trouble. Her business had gone bust and she was in serious financial trouble. She was so desperate that she decided to ask God for help. She began to pray.

“God, please help me. I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, I’m going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto.”

Lotto night came and somebody else won. Barbara again prayed.

“God, please let me win the lotto! I’ve lost my business, my house and I’m going to lose my car as well.”

Lotto night came and Barbara still had no luck. Once again she prayed.

“My God, why have you forsaken me? I’ve lost my business, my house and my car.  My children are starving.  I don’t often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you.  Please just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order.”

Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light as the heavens opened and Barbara was confronted by the voice of God himself.

“Barbara, you are going to have to meet me halfway on this. Buy a ticket.”

A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the fears and temptations his future congregations faced if he first took a job as a policeman for several months.

He passed the physical examination; then came the oral exam to test his ability to act quickly and wisely in an emergency.  Among other questions he was asked, “What would you do to disperse a frenzied crowd?”

He thought for a moment and then replied, “I would take up a collection.”

A sales rep from Tyson Foods arranges to visit the Pope.

After receiving the papal blessing he whispers, “Your Eminence, we have a deal for you. If you change The Lord’s Prayer from ‘give us this day our daily bread….’ to ‘give us this day our daily chicken….’ then we will donate $500 million dollars to the Church”.

The Pope responds saying, “That is impossible. The prayer is the Word of the Lord and it must not be changed.”

“Well,” says the Tyson man, “we are prepared to donate $1 billion to the Church if you change the Lord’s Prayer from ‘give us this day our daily bread….’ to ‘give us this day our daily chicken….”

Again the Pope replies “That is impossible. The prayer is the Word of the Lord and it must not be changed.”

Finally, the Tyson guy says, “This is our last offer. We will donate $5 billion to the church if you change the Lord’s Prayer from ‘give us this day our daily bread….’ to ‘give us this day our daily chicken….’” and he leaves.

The next day the Pope meets with the College of Cardinals to say that he has good news and some bad news.

“The good news is that the Church has come into $5 billion.”

“The bad news is that we are losing The Wonderbread Account!”

(As an aside, Tyson Foods wanted to build a plant outside Wichita.  The  people it would most affect were afraid the plant would contaminate their ground water.  Needless to say, they didn't offer any money to build their plant here and the bid was rejected)

A guy arrives at the Pearly Gates and St, Peter asks him to relate a good deed he had done.

The guys thinks for a moment and says, “Hmmm, well I was driving down a road and I saw a giant group of hoodlums harassing this poor girl. I slowed down, and sure enough, there they were, about 20 of them abusing this poor woman."

“Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy; 6 foot 4 inch, 260 pounds, with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ears. As I walked up to the leader, the others formed a circle around me and told me to get lost or I’d be next."

“So I ripped the leader’s chain out of his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, ‘Leave this poor innocent girl alone! You’re all a bunch of SICK, deranged animals! Go home before I really teach you a lesson in PAIN!”

St. Peter, duly impressed, says, “Wow! When did this happen?”

“Oh, about three minutes ago.”

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
   ~Gracie Allen


April showers bring May flowers but what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims!



I walked into McDonald's and asked for fries. The woman at the counter said, "Would you like fries with that?"
          ~Jay Leno

I hope you found some of these funny.   Now lets learn a few facts about the Kansas Oil Museum's outdoor exhibit:

The museum focuses on the history of America's early 20th-century oil industry.   The outdoor 10 acre exhibit features two specific areas.  The first is the oil field exhibit that is over 100 years old, fully restored, that still operates during special events.  The second is the oil field town.  It is furnished as if the town's inhabitants still live there. These oil boom towns operated as divisions of the oil companies, and were under the authority of company officials. Developed in response to oil strikes, these oil communities had their own stores, company offices, schools, and entertainment.

Some of the plaques around the area outside.  You can tell Sally is on the right and I am front and center by my curly hair!

Next it was time to check out a working oil derrick.

I remembered the top of the well was called the crown.

and a typical oil town house.

Somehow I can't imagine living next door to a "gusher."

Inside we see how the well works.

Everything has been restored and all is in working order.

Last week Annie commented on the drill bit gauges.  You can see how one drill is ready to be heated in the furnace and the bit pounded back into the correct diameter.  I like Annie's idea of turning the bit gauges into bubble blowers.  Wouldn't kids have fun with those.

The pulley connects to the drilling line

that connects to the drill casing that holds the drill bit far below the surface.

I wish I knew more about the parts of this oil derrick, but I apparently wasn't paying attention inside.  It was fun to see a real derrick, though.

Even though I didn't quite understand it all, I was impressed by the shed and its contents.

We were now off to see the rest of the grounds.

Sally was starting to get bored and was looking for a place to sit.

As a result, we never went inside the building that housed the Central Power Unit.

Instead, she wanted to see the house, then leave.  This is a good place to stop.  The house will be the final part of this trip to the Kansas Oil and Gas Museum. 

Thanks for joining me today in this museum.  And please visit Annie and her lovely smiles today.  Feel free to join in with your smile, too.  A smile to start the weekend is always a good thing.  And I'll be back smiling on April 27.