I want to thank all the Friday Smiles ladies for your kind comments last Friday, even though I was gone. I haven't had time to go through the photos for the next area of the Museum of World Treasures, so all you get today are a few funnies I found when cleaning out my office last year.
Barbara
Walters had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before
the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about 10
feet behind their husbands.
She returned to Kuwait after the war and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives.
Ms
Walters approached one of the women for an explanation. “This is
marvelous,” she said. “What enabled women here to achieve this reversal
of roles?”
The Kuwaiti woman replied, “Land mines.”
A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game.
The
young couple found their seats in the crowded stadium and was watching
the action when a substitute was sent into the game. As the promising
young player ran onto the field to take his position, the boy pointed at
him and said to his girlfriend, “Keep an eye on that fellow. I expect
him to be our best man next year.”
His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said, “That’s the strangest proposal I ever heard, but I accept!.”
Yet another story debunked and labeled an urban legend. According to NASA radio transcripts, it never happened.
When
Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his
famous “one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” statement
but followed it by several other remarks. Just before he re-entered the
lander, he said, “Good luck Mr. Gorsky.” Many people at NASA thought it
concerned some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was
no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.
Over
the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what “Good luck Mr.
Gorsky” meant, but Armstrong always just smiled. On July 5, 1995, in
Tampa, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter
brought up the 26 year old question. This time Armstrong finally
responded. Mr. Gorsky had died and so Armstrong felt he could finally
answer the question.
When
he was a kid, Neil was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard.
His friend hit a fly ball, which landed in the front of the bedroom
window of his neighbors, Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky. As he picked up the
ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, “Sex!
You want sex?! You’ll get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!”
According
to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique
problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put
it on in the bathroom. That
was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their
lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally
the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the
girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She
explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the
custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how
difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance guy to
clean one of the mirrors.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then cleaned the mirror.
Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
Finally, I will leave you with classified ads found in actual newspapers:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog.
FREE PUPPIES. 1/2 Cocker Spaniel. 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.
FREE PUPPIES. Part German Sheperd. Part stupid dog.
GERMAN SHEPERD. 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be reward.
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB — $850/offer
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE… Only used on snowy days.
2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, comes with its own 1988 Mustang, 5L, auto, excellent condition, $6800
COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED… also 1 gay bull for sale.
FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 yr. warranty. Like new. Slight urine smell.
NORDIC TRACK $300. Hardly used. Call Chubby.
BILL’S SEPTIC CLEANING. “We haul American made products.”
SHAKESPEARE’S PIZZA – Free chopsticks
HUMMELS – Largest selection ever “If it’s in stock, we have it!”
GEORGIA PEACHES. California grown – 89 cents lb.
PARACHUTE FOR SALE. Never opened – Used once.
TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours, Starting pay: $7 – $9 per hour.
EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: Queen size mattress and box springs, $175
OPEN HOUSE. Body Shapers Toning Salon. Free coffee and donuts
FOR
SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.
Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got
married last weekend. Wife knows everything.
Now let's meet this month's host at Art Journal Journey. This month our host is Rike of Rike's Art or My little creative world. She has chosen the color yellow as her theme. Per Rike, yellow stands for joy, optimism, and vitality. Here is my first contribution this month.
I call this one Friendship. According to Rike, the main focus should be yellow, but we can use other colors as well. I just hope I used enough yellow to qualify. It's really obvious I scanned this entry and it's also obvious my scanner is on its last leg.
words but meanings."
~Henry David Thoreau
For this page, I began with a sheet of 110 lb. cardstock that I colored yellow. I then used leftover cardstock from a previous entry and matched it with a sheet of flowery cardstock. I sewed a length of yellow rick rack to the left side and sewed the remainder of the pieces to the page using variegated thread.
I hope you will join Rike, Susi, Bleubeard, and me this month at Art Journal Journey with your yellow inspired art, too. Please be aware, we want to see your altered book pages, journal pages, loose journal art, canvases, and digital art. However, we cannot accept cards, ATCs, ATCoins, or tags, and will be forced to delete your entry.
Don't forget to also visit Annie's Friday Smiles, where it never hurts to begin the weekend with a big smile, just like Annie's. Feel free to join in with a post of your own, too. She'll welcome you just like she did me several years ago.
Don't forget to also visit Annie's Friday Smiles, where it never hurts to begin the weekend with a big smile, just like Annie's. Feel free to join in with a post of your own, too. She'll welcome you just like she did me several years ago.
28 thoughtful remarks:
The funnies are super today again! Love the Kuwait funny -lol!
What a beautiful yellow page with the lovely sewed elements and those fantastic quote! A great entry for the Yellow month at AJJ dear Co.-Admin!
Happy Friday dear Dr.E.!
Hugs, Susi
Oh Elizabeth I should not have laughed at the first but I did, yet again using us woman as a shelter!! Nice turn around and quick wit from the college girl haa haa! Love your yellow patched page, not sure my page will make the yellow grade later today but I will enjoy seeing those that do.
Wishing you a good weekend, take care Tracey xx
Oh Elizabeth you did make me chuckle at your comments on my post today....I don't think I will suggest to Lulu that she should saddle up Poppy dog [knowing Lulu she would probably try it].
What job did you used to do and where did you keep all these funnies you share with us each week?....they're brilliant.
Hugs,
Annie x
Great giggles this morning! By the way, my flowers were made from just air-dry clay (not polymer) and hand shaped. Happy February!
Nice! yellow is warm and sunny and everything the weather isn't now. I like the pops of bright color against the yellow too! Stay warm. Hugs-Erika
Your funnies made me smile even if they weren't all true.
I like the bright yellow, sunny pages of the journal too. Kate x
Your yellow page is lovely Elizabeth - love the details and I always admire your stitchwork and sewing skills and thats a really nice quote too.
I struggle with yellow so this might be a good month for me to work out why and see if I can like it more :)
Happy Friday - have a wonderful weekend.
Gill x
I just don't know where you get them Elizabeth but they sure are funny! I like your yellow page, really brightens the day. Have a great weekend. Hugs, Angela xXx
First I had to read the funnies - and they keep me laughing! The funnies also fit perfect to the yellow theme - they lighten up the soul, and the quote on your page is so true! I love this yellow background and the sewed details, and even in the patterns I find yellows!
Thank you for linking such a wonderful first entry to my theme at AJJ!
Wish you a happy weekend too!
Rike xx
Sunny, yellow background. I like how the smaller images have a touch of yellow to tie into the background. Lots of smiles from the the funnies this week. Even though the Armstrong story is a myth, I thought it was really funny.
Looks like you've been spammed by ads for a cleaning company not located in Kansas.
Great funnies today, I am still laughing, I loved the Neil Armstrong one.
Its is an super new theme for AJJ. I love your awesome warm page, it promises spring with the background yellow and the pretty additions. Its a great quote you added as well.
Yvonne xx
Brilliant funnies Elizabeth, made me laugh. Lovely sewn journal page, yellow is quite hard for mw to use, but I will have a go.
Big smiles, but I especially love the ad about the "hateful little dog." Oh, yes! That's sure to get a buyer or two!
Well, you certainly started my playtime with giggles......thanks!
Love your colorful page.
Your funnies were so good today, I laughed and I laughed! I can't wait to read them out to hubby. I particularly liked the Goski story (true or not) .
And the ads are unbelievable. I mean I can't believe they are real adverts.But they sure made me smile,
Your yellow page is very sunny.A very good theme. We all need a bit of 'sunny' in the middle of winter.
I hope you have recovered from you adventure.
Have a good weekend,
Lisca
I love your Thoreau quote :) Yellow is a cheerful color and a longed-for reminder of sunnier days. My ATCs will benefit from the inspiration of the challenge color, even though ATCs can't be part of the actual challenge :)
You are funny, Elizabeth, with your comment about your scanner. In my experience scanners have a complete mind of their own and one day they will give a perfect reproduction and on another can't be bothered.
I like your happy patches on the bright yellow, and as Rike said there is also yellow in the pretty patterns. Nice quote too, Thoreau was a good guy.
Oh goodness I’m holding my stomach laughing here at those ads, especially the dog ones. Well done they are brilliant
Lynn xx
cute art piece this week Elizabeth and the funnies are funny; I got a real kick out of the Georgia peaches line !! :) ♥♥☺☺☺ enjoy the weekend ~
Bright and beautiful just like your funnies.xx
I enjoyed your funnies, thank you.
Yellow is such a happy, cheerful colour … perfect for duller grey wintry and snowy (for some) days.
All the best Jan
What a cute page! Love all the jokes. :)
Those funnies and ads had me smiling Elizabeth, thanks for sharing them!
And I love your friendship collage page too, that's a fab quote!
Happy weekend,
Alison xx
People paid money to make us laugh with those classifieds! Glad you found and shared with us. Hugs...and Happy Saturday! RO
Well, there's a post to cheer one up! I smiled my way through the funnies (though the landmines went the other way!), especially the lipstick/mirror story, and then got to your uplifting page spread. The yellow is such a cheerful colour, and the rainbow panels with the lovely words give it even more positivity. Fabulous!
Alison x
oh my,this is amazing yellow page,love the stitching.
wishing you a nice sunday,dear elizabeth.
hugs jenny
This is a wonderful Art journal page Elizabeth, love it !! The quote is fantastique too. Love the so happy leftover cardstocks. Great Art !
I wish you a very nice afgternoon
big hugs, Caty
This is nice and bright and cheery.
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