Inspiration Avenue: Fear

Today is Friday, the day of the week I have designated for my Inspiration Avenue challenge. Sweet Lisa, the Priti one, saw a sign that advertised "What are you afraid of?" and issued this FEAR challenge.



I began by laying down dressmaker tissue on a block of 1" thick wood, over which I painted gesso mixed with violet Golden Fluid Acrylic. At this point I wasn't sure where this was going, but I knew I wanted to create something close to my heart. Something artistic about fear, although it was not for or about myself, but for the young people in this world who are being bullied.


I started with these six colors because they were mostly dark, and therefore colors I associate with fear.


Now I'm not a person who can draw a pretty picture, relying more on mixed media and magazine images. And I'm also not very good with abstract art. But I wanted this to be something dark, going into the light. As I worked on the piece, I saw a tornado emerging. I certainly knew about tornadoes, having been in five before the age of 15.


I continued to work on the tornado image and remembered the one and only time I was bullied through teasing. I began attending a new school in the 6th grade, after attending a different one, one that was all ground level, for my first five grades. The school I was now going to was old and the upper classes (5th and 6th grades) were on the top floor.

Not too long into the first semester, we had a fire drill. We had to go out very tall cast iron lattice see-through stairs and I made the mistake of looking down. I froze. I could live through tornadoes, but not those stairs.

The teacher, who was supposed to protect me, was also no help. In fact, she made matters worse by trying to force and push me off the top stair landing and down the steps. After all, I was holding up the line which had to keep going. Clearly, this type of behavior had never happened before! Afterward, I was called all kinds of names, mostly by boys (at least to my face), including "scardy-cat" and "wimp." Thankfully, my grandparents (who raised me and were my rock) stepped in (something kids these days seem to resist) and spoke to both the teacher and the principal. After that, I was allowed to be the last person down the stairs, with the teacher at my side. I'm not sure what would have happened had there been a real fire.

Eventually, the kids forgot what a wimp I was, mainly because I went to a new school (what we called Junior High) the next year. At that time, I was reunited with my friends from K through 5th grades, had a good support system, and was once again on a ground level floor.


I tried to show the texture at this angle, but my camera doesn't take decent photos this close.

Unlike kids today, who have social networks via the internet, I was lucky. My friends were close at hand and I no longer felt the humiliation of being singled out. Nor did we try to single out and bully any students like the mean kids did. I was a big part of Junior High and High School because I loved school. I became active in many extra-curricular activities and took part in as many as I could fit into my schedule.

I also had very supportive grandparents, who would have gone to hell and back to make sure I was safe from harm. You have NO idea how innocent and sheltered I (and my friends) were. Young people nowadays don't feel like they have that option, especially since many bullying problems happen on buses, something we didn't have in our small town of a little more than 4000. Young people also don't believe they can talk to their teachers, and when they do, they are told to "buck up" just like I was told that day back in 6th grade.

Although my fear of being bullied soon passed, my fear of heights remains present to this day. I can't seem to climb on anything higher than a two-step step stool and my legs shake like crazy when I reach the second step. As for being called names, I believe it made me stronger, more easy going, and more empathetic.


I could have called this piece "Eye of the Storm," but decided to call it "The Bully Pulpit" instead. It is truly a different looking piece on my scanner.

I hope each person who reads this will become an advocate for young people, people who have been bullied, as well as those who bully (because these bullies are often either bullied or ignored at home). October is Bully Awareness Month and bullying could truly be one of our young friends worst fears. It is up to adults to see to it that youngsters are safe from internet violence, from school bus violence, from being picked on in class or in gym, and from vicious life-changing name calling. After all, this is the next generation we are talking about.

Thank you Lisa for this really thought provoking challenge. And if you have something you are fearful of or wish to share, please visit Inspiration Avenue where you can voice your fears and see others' fears.