Friday, July 27, 2018

Friday Smiles 282: jokes, quotes, etc.

I'm sure you are aware from the post title that I am here for Annie's Friday Smiles.  Before we begin, my Friday Smiles will be on hiatus the month of August, but will be back September 7 to show photos of my trip to the Wichita Art Museum with the three youngsters who came to visit me this summer.  However, today, all I have are a few jokes I found while cleaning my office a few months ago and a couple of photos I found on Pexels (see right sidebar for link).

The following are what I like to call Church bulletin bloopers.   Thank goodness for church ladies with typewriters/computers. These actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services.

The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.  

She sang "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving much pleasure to the congregation. 

Sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. 
Sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus. 

A letter to the men’s fellowship reads: "All members are requested to bring their wives and one other covered dish to the annual banquet."

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa. 

 Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.....It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.  

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be, "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.   

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.   

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility.  

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM.   Prayer and medication to follow.

I think that's enough for today.  Thanks for joining me today and thanks for your continued visits.  Now let's visit Annie's Friday Smiles, where it never hurts to begin the weekend with a big smile, just like Annie's. Feel free to join in with a post of your own, too.  And then I'll see you back here on September 7.

20 thoughtful remarks:

Valerie-Jael said...

Fun post! Have a great day, Valerie

Lisca Meijer said...

I woke up to your post this morning. What fun! I read them out loud to my husband over breakfast and we had lots of laughs.
Have a fun weekend,

Meggymay said...

I have also read these out loud to my OH and were are both laughing .
A super start to the day, hope your day will be a good one as well.
Yvonne xx

CJ Kennedy said...

Great way to start a day. Each church bulletin funnier than the one before it. :-D

Let's Art Journal said...

Thanks for the smiles 😉. Happy Friday and have a great weekend! J 😊 x

My name is Erika. said...

Thanks for the good laugh this morning. These are pretty funny, especially the one about hearing bertha belch all the way from Africa. :) Hugs-Erika

Annie said...

I’m running late visiting today. My sewing talents are needed by many this week.
I managed to link you no probs. Oh your funnies have really got me chuckling today. Thanks so much for sharing.
Annie x

RO said...

The Friday sunny smiles are such a perfect way to start the day or the weekend, and I'm on board. "Prayer and medication" after a potluck sounds perfectly reasonable to me. (lol) Hugs and Happy Friday! RO

aussie aNNie said...

You are really funny, a great way to end my evening her down under before I go to bed smiling...thank you lovely lady.xx

Angela Radford said...

I have just read these funnies for my hubby and there has been a lot of laughter here. I think these are some of the best yet, brilliant. There's something really funny about Church Bloopers. I think it's because the comments are usually quite serious so when they go wrong you try not to laugh but you just can't hold it back. Have a great weekend. Big hugs, Angela xXx

froebelsternchen said...

Thanks for the smiles dear Elizabeth!
Happy start of the weekend my friend!
Hugs, Susi

Elizabeth said...

I thoroughly enjoyed the funnies, Elizabeth! The ones about the choir made me laugh out loud. Enjoy your hiatus. Elizabeth xx

Jeanie said...

Bertha Belch and the choir one. Groaners but good ones!

Mia said...

Thank you for the smiles, Elizabeth. Hugs, my friend.

kathyinozarks said...

Thank you Elizabeth,
allot of fun smile quotes here!

Sharon Madson said...

Fun! And I smiled! :)

Rita said...

So cute!! :)

mamapez5 said...

I had such fun reading your church bloopers. I print our church newsletter each week. I get sent the main one from our mother church in Mojacar and edit it with extra notices etc for our own church, and I sometimes need to do a lot of correcting before I am willing to print it out!
The smiley face photos were fun too.
I went on to read about your water-coloured picture. I am not good at colouring unless I am using my copic markers,, but i have lots of watercolour pencils so perhaps I should try again.
Have a good break for August, and we will see you again later. Kate x

Jackie P Neal said...

Sunday morning giggling over coffee here- thanks so much for the smiles Elizabeth!
Jackie xx

pearshapedcrafting said...

Giggles here too! Misprints often make me smile! Hugs Chrisx