Friday Smiles 308: Lingering food poisoning curbs enthusiasm

I'm sure you can tell, I'm here for Annie's Friday Smiles.   The thought of sharing a restaurant I visited before the new year is not appealing or even appetizing.  I am simply not over the food poisoning, so I'll share a few funnies then head back to bed.

Some of these are thought provoking.  Do you ever wonder:

Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline
'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what
they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with
artificial flavor, and dish washing
liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all
your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the
slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored
cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle
for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black
box that is used on airplanes? Why
don't they make the whole plane out
of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments
when they are all stuck together?

If flying is so safe, why do they call
the airport the terminal? 

And my personal favorite:
If con is the opposite of pro, is
Congress the opposite of progress?

Don't forget to visit Annie's Friday Smiles, where it never hurts to begin the weekend with a big smile, just like Annie's. Feel free to join in with a post of your own, too.  Now I'm headed back to bed with the two fur babies, a glass of disgusting water, and saltine crackers.