Friday Smiles 394: An early Christmas gift

It's Friday, so let's join Annie (at A Stitch in Time) along with the wonderful ladies at Friday Smiles.

Recently, my shopaholic friend Kathy visited and brought me an early Christmas gift.  Apparently she no longer wanted or had a use for this.

Does anyone know what she gave me?

Here's a view inside the bag.

These are the instructions that I will definitely need to read.

There are, what seems to be dozens of tiny and not so tiny pockets.

Did you guess?

Yes, it's a Bind it All.

But that wasn't all.  She gave me several boxes

of different sized binding wires, too.  Talk about putting a SMILE on my face.  I'm overjoyed.  Now I need to find a place to put it where I will actually use it.


Here are a few funnies I found while cleaning my office last year.  

Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Six."
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven!"
Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?"
Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!" 

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"

Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.

A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing." 

 

Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."  

My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek. 

Teacher: "Which book has helped you the most in your life?"
Student: "My father's check book!"  

Now let's head over to Annie's because she knows how to put a smile on everyone's faces.  And whatever you do, please don't forget to start your weekend off right with a few Friday Smiles of your own.  And remember, if you would like to play along, Annie would love to have you join us. If you have a Bind-it-All, any tips you have would be greatly appreciated.